There is no easy way to describe what sexual trauma even is, because it is so extensive, and it penetrates our souls so deeply. Those two words can inflict a different level of discomfort for everybody. Since we are connected to everyone and everything else, if one person is traumatized, we can feel it to some extent, whether we are aware of it or not. Our sexuality governs our innate capacities to create, so if this part of our body is blocked or distorted, we are unable to adequately bring forth our truth into this reality. More immediately, unresolved sexual traumas are a monstrous source of anxiety, depression, eating disorders, mental illness, violence/anger, addictions, and PTSD.
Sexual traumas are an international epidemic, really, and the recent pathetic provocation from the misogynist and “rape-advocate”, Daryush Valizadeh, attempting to popularize his mental illness with other deranged men, is showcasing what horrors can happen when traumas and belief systems aren’t properly brought into the light and healed. Clearly, there are still some potential perpetrators out there who need some serious psychiatric intervention and professional help.
The ramifications of sexual assault can be absolutely paralyzing for victims, but especially for those who are not citizens of the country where their attack took place. Sex-trafficking, incest, rape, and child molestation are still issues and need more publication so that services can be provided, especially for victims in our country who may be at risk of deportation or refused proper help due to legal status.
Characteristic of PTSD, the battles after sexual trauma can be confusing and downright horrific. Victims of sexual trauma can sabotage peaceful attempts of healing, as this one study remarked, reason enough to bring more awareness. The dismal sexual education many of us endured–or didn’t have altogether–in our school and religious systems helped contribute to our inability to speak truth about sex and sexuality. The cherry on top is the pressure many of us still feel from our media/society to achieve ridiculous and unobtainable standards of perfection, sacrificing our health, sanity and individuality.
So how do we actually heal something so widespread, which has its own built-in sabotage mechanisms? Far spread awareness can attempt to eradicate ignorance, but getting people to actually heal themselves and shed light on something very dark is a different mountain to climb. It’s important for all people, victims or not, to find others they feel they can open up to and feel supported by. So many of us have found it really difficult to relate to others and fit in due to our past traumas. As more and more of us are becoming awake and aware, finding support groups of people in everyday life will become easier.
We also have another healer, who happens to connect us to everyone else – Planet Earth. As simple as this sounds, it’s actually an ancient unifier. We all share the same planet here; we all require the same resources, and in this way, we are very physically connected to everyone! I like to think of Earth as my ever-present Mother, always ready to listen to any tormented thoughts I may have. She’s been here all along, a witness to our sometimes savage treatment of each other. We are her and she is us. Our bodies are made of her elements and our breath is her breath. As the extreme emotional and physical activities continue here on Earth, it’s seriously time to release and redirect our energy. Our creativity and sexuality can and should be channeled in a new direction, incorporating a sacred perspective of what our bodies really are, and helping each of us manifest our innate capacities for growth, sexuality and creativity. Feminism is not about overpowering masculinity; it is about bringing back our connection to the womb center, the source of our creativity and life.
What this means, in terms of addressing everyday issues, as a collective:
Recognizing that rape and non-consensual sex are seriously still issues that have failed to be completely resolved. We have to make an individual and societal commitment to eradicate drunken/drugged sexual encounters. The subtle emotions that occur before, during and after sex are so easily ignored and manipulated when the mind is not sober. It’s safe to say that many people don’t even know how to experience true intimacy, let’s not complicate things with drugs and alcohol anymore.
Becoming aware of and healing conscious or sub-conscious judgments of another’s sexual orientation or gender identity, which is really like judging water falling in a waterfall (it’s completely unreasonable). You cannot control a creative force!!
Compassionately realizing that many of us carry subconscious burdens of shame related to sex and sexuality, some stemming from childhood and religious propaganda. Patience is the only way to approach these fears. And if someone chooses to be celibate, that needs to be accepted and honored.
Realizing that this entire universe is actually a beautiful sexual act: always creating, always passionate, always moving. Sex is a beautiful form of art. The only media required are the mutual desire, trust and freedom to express. This means not perverting sexuality, or putting a label on it, or shaming, or manipulating it in any way.
Diving right into our connection with the planet and each other is so incredibly important in the healing process. Becoming aware of the creative acts in our world is the most powerful energetic force available to us. Feel the energy of the world, appreciate its presence and beauty and ask for help in revealing to you a reminder of your own beautiful creative self. You are part of this eternal dance of the universe and it is your birthright to experience a fulfilling life free of shame, guilt and anxiety about sexuality.